i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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