U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
