The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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