I must be too annoying 4 u.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
