im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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