shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
