A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
