Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
