Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How naked do you want me to be?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
