Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
