ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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