You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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