ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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