do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
