i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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