I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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