Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize