@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
