piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
last night I used snow as a chaser
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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