she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
