His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
