yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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