I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
