hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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