You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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