And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
