cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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