i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
