He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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