mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
