Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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