no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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