is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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