Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm just crazy horny about you
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
