new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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