Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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