could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
