hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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