The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
