I wish life had little blips of pornography
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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