i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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