I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
