we're blogging at a bar
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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