Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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