mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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