He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
