you would pick up someone in the library
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am