Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL

(609): View more from New Jersey

dude. stop pregaming the food network.

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(215): im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL (609): dude. stop pregaming the food network. http://tfl.nu/x76m

Replies (6) Good night (2091) Bad night (491)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

(217): View more from Illinois

well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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(610): thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with (217): well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment http://tfl.nu/vbkf

Replies (23) Good night (1398) Bad night (2315)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

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(602): I bet i've been more pregnant than you. http://tfl.nu/0mti

Replies (16) Good night (587) Bad night (4232) Order T-Shirt
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(613): View more from Ontario

she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent

(613): View more from Ontario

I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM

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(613): she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent (613): I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM http://tfl.nu/2tls

Replies (24) Good night (835) Bad night (5175)
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(616): View more from Michigan

whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?

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(616): whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name? http://tfl.nu/f6w0

Replies (13) Good night (5058) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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(205): View more from Alabama

there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?

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(205): there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something? http://tfl.nu/tu2y

Replies (12) Good night (5602) Bad night (1360) Order T-Shirt
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.

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(413): He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing. http://tfl.nu/up8v

Replies (8) Good night (1159) Bad night (4169) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work

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(443): We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work http://tfl.nu/ryiy

Replies (11) Good night (2037) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.

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(870): Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear. http://tfl.nu/uzj4

Replies (8) Good night (2761) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?

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(603): sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall? http://tfl.nu/ejbk

Replies (8) Good night (2038) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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(602): View more from Arizona

I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight

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(602): I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight http://tfl.nu/yocu

Replies (20) Good night (703) Bad night (4086) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning

(519): View more from Ontario

Omg I think I'm in the wrong class

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(519): I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning (519): Omg I think I'm in the wrong class http://tfl.nu/znqx

Replies (11) Good night (3722) Bad night (516)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.

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(606): after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls. http://tfl.nu/ni37

Replies (17) Good night (5407) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby

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(763): I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby http://tfl.nu/ll5m

Replies (10) Good night (478) Bad night (2331) Order T-Shirt
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.

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(225): I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with. http://tfl.nu/2qkg

Replies (4) Good night (690) Bad night (250)

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