did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.