I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wish my penis had a tongue
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
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It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
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The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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