How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.