and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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