She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
