The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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