I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
