I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize