We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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