i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
