who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
