my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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