Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
