It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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