Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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