it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
