Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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